树型模式 · 标准模式 · [ 线型增强+ ] 成功十要素, 冯唐

[ahxiao]

我痛恨成功学。首先，在我的世界观里，“成功”比“爱情”更难定义，或者我定义中的“成功”和社会普遍定义的“成功”相差太远。我认识一个老哥，他一辈子唯一做过的正式工作就是当他爸爸的秘书，这个正式工作维持了不到半年，他爸爸就死了。之后，这个老哥成功地在帝都无所事事三十年，直到今天。我定义的成功是内心恬静地用好自己这块材料，或有用或无用，本一不二。在这个老哥无所事事的三十年中，他喝酒，他晃荡，他写了两本简单的书，一本叫《玉器时代》，填补了中国文化期黄河流域玉器研究的空白，另一本书叫《宋金元茶盏》，填补了中国老窑茶盏研究的空白。做为一个人类，我觉得他很成功。其次，在我的认知里，我不认为成功可以学。人可以学开刀，人可以学乞讨，人可以学算命，但是人没法学习如何成功。所谓世俗定义的成功涉及太多因素，成功不可复制。

二零一五年秋天，我连续在北大、浙大、武大做了三场演讲。同学们除了关心我是如何成为一个情色作家（更准确的定义是科学爱情作家）之外，似乎更关心传说中我在北京后海边上的院子、我在作家富豪榜上的排名、我创立国内最大医疗集团的事功。换言之，同学们还是更关心世俗定义的成功。无奈之下，职业病发作之下，勉为其难，我还是用了中国古人提供的框架，用咨询公司训练出的总结归纳能力，和同学们讲了讲我认为取得世俗成功的十大要素。

一命二运三风水，四积阴德五读书，六名七相八敬神，九交贵人十养生。

一命。我的定义，命是DNA。从生物学的角度看，人生来从来没有平等过。人的智商、情商、身体机能在很大程度上在出生的时候已经决定了，后天努力有用，但是先天先于后天、先天大于后天。夸张点说，猪八戒再勤奋也变不成孙悟空，孙悟空再修行也变不成唐僧。

二运。我的定义，运是时机（timing）。白起、吴起等名将如果生在宁世，开个养鸡场和寿司料理，每天杀杀鸡、宰宰鱼。柳永、李贺如果生在战时，当个没出息的列兵，在开小差的路上被抓回来。

三风水。我的定义，风水是位置。人二十岁之前如果在一个地方呆过十年以上，这个地方就是他永远的故乡。胃、味蕾、美感、表情、口音等等已经被这个地方界定，之后很难改变。余华如果生在北京，写不出阴湿暗冷的《在细雨中呼喊》。在北京，除了游行和卖货，没人呼喊，街道这么宽，故宫这么大，没人内心憋屈到跑到雨里呼喊。冯唐如果生在浙东，写不出《十八岁给我一个姑娘》，如果憋不住还是要写，可能写出一本《十八岁给我一个寡妇》。

四积阴德。我的定义，阴德是不做损人又不利己的事情。我能理解损己利人，我能理解损人利己，我不理解损人不利己。细细思量，人做损人不利己的事，必然是控制不了自己的心魔。让心魔控制自己时间长了，很难成事儿。

五读书。天份好要读书，天份不好更要读书。现在，还有多少人每天看书的时间多过看手机的时间？

六名。我的定义，名是名声，要成功的关键是名实相符。人可以欺骗一个人一辈子，可以欺骗天下人一时，但是人很难欺骗天下人一辈子。心碎要趁早，出名要趁晚。名出早了，名大于实，名声之下，整天端着，会累死人。

七相。自古以来，人类的世界是个看脸的世界。相有三个组成成分：长相，身材，精神面貌。长得好的人，的确占便宜。面对一张姣好的如瓷如玉如芙蓉的脸，尽管知道可能整过形、微整过容、有化妆品的功劳、皮肉之下都是骷髅，人类还是难免邪念袅袅、心存怜惜。即使没有一张好脸，至少要保持一个好身材，即使不能保持好身材，至少要保持体重。再差再差，脸也没有、屁股也没有、胸也没有，至少要保持精神面貌，每天早上面对世界微笑，遇上杨贵妃，能像安禄山一样跳起胡旋舞。

八敬神。我敬的神，不是如今到处奇丑无比的金佛，是头上的星空和心里真实的人性、兽性。设定好自己的底线，不要因为方便、因为人不知而突破自己的底线。

九交贵人。我的定义，贵人不是有钱人、有权人，不是帮你遇事平事儿的人，是在暗夜海洋里点醒方向的灯塔一样的人，是腿摔断了之后的拐杖一样的人，是非常不开心时候的酒一样的人，是渴了很久之后的水一样的人。

十养生。从一到九，都做到，如果没有好身体，也是空。养生不是信中医，不是吃斋念佛，是起居有度、饮食有节，是该睡觉的时候能倒头就睡着。

最后的最后，即使有了世俗的成功，也要意识到，它和幸福没有什么必然的联系，人坐在雷克萨斯里也不保证不想哭。

[HaroldBILIA]

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